Soccer For Parents - The Quandary - Watch Him Fail Or Steal His Dream

Question: What is the first big question that confronts any soccer parent?
Answer: Should you watch him fail or should you protect him and steal his dream?

This was the first big question that faced me as a soccer parent. At the age of six years old my son confronted me with his ambition, possibly the one ambition that all soccer parents dread and delight in at the same time. Dad, I want to be a professional footballer.

How do you respond to your child's certainty that this is a perfectly reasonable expectation when you know that professional football is probably the most competitive environment on the planet and that, in all likelihood, he has only a small chance of achieving his dream. There are, of course two options:

1. Prepare him for failure. If you subtly transmit the message to him that he is unlikely to achieve his dream then you will have taken some steps to protecting him from the massive disappointment that will arise from failure to achieve his dream. However, unfortunately, you will also have almost certainly denied him any chance of success. All successful sportsmen will tell you, across all disciplines, that total self-belief is a prerequisite in the field of sporting excellence.

2. Buy into his dream and almost certainly watch him fail and suffer the massive disappointment of failure. The thought is painful, isn't it? Is it not our instinct as parents to protect them? (even soccer parents)

It's a difficult one, isn't it?

My son is now seventeen years old. He is currently on trial at a Premier League Academy. He played in the Conference Premier at 16 years old, the youngest Crawley Town FC player to have done so, coming on as a substitute against Tamworth FC in December 2009. He may or may not make a top-class professional footballer. He has gone a long way but still has a bit further to go.

Here is my advice based on mine and my son's experience:
1. Don't prepare him for failure. If you do that in his football (probably the most important thing in his young life) you will also prepare him for failure in everything else.
2. Teach him from a young age to take responsibility for his own actions.
3. Teach him that failure is simply an opportunity to improve. This in itself will teach him to deal with it.
4. Reward him for character as much as for performance in his football. This will build a young man as well as a young footballer.
5. Buy into his dream as much as he does.
6. Then be prepared to do whatever it takes.

If you follow this advice, then whatever the outcome, you will end up with a success story. You may not have produced a footballer but you will have produced a grown up with character. On the other hand, you may end up with a professional footballer.

One thing is for sure, if you don't go for it, you won't get it. My advice, don't steal his dream.

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